The WIP Isn't the Problem: Letting Go of Making Guilt

This is one of my WIPs...it's been in this status for 2 months. It's time to decide what's next.

I want you to think about a project you haven't touched in months.

You know the one. It's sitting in a project bag, tucked into a basket, or perhaps somewhere you can see it every day. Maybe you've moved it from one spot to another or you've considered picking it up a dozen times. And if you're like me, maybe you've even put it somewhere where you'll see it every day because surely that will encourage you to finish it.

And every time you see it, there's that little voice:

I really should finish that.

Should.

Such a small word. And yet, it can carry an awful lot of weight in our creative lives.

• I should finish my WIPs.

• I should use more of my stash.

• I shouldn't start another project.

• I should make something more challenging.

• I should be better at this by now.

• I should finish what I start.

Sound familiar?

This week in our Mindful Making practice, we're going to explore those expectations and what happens when we begin giving ourselves permission to question them.

WHAT ARE YOUR PROJECTS ASKING OF YOU?

Over the past two weeks, we've been looking at our making a little differently. First, I asked you to choose three words describing how you want your making to feel right now.

Mine were: Comfort • Quiet • Familiar

Then last week, we explored whether the projects we're choosing actually fit the season of life we're in. We looked at our time, energy, attention, and curiosity. And I encouraged you to pay attention to the projects you naturally reach for.

But there's another side to that question. What about the projects we're not reaching for?

The ones that sit untouched while we happily pick up something else. The ones we keep telling ourselves we'll get back to or that somehow begin to feel less like possibilities and more like obligations.

I've been thinking about the difference between the projects I want to work on and the projects I feel I should be working on. And I've realized that those two things aren't always the same.

WHEN MAKING BECOMES ANOTHER OBLIGATION

There's something wonderfully satisfying about finishing a project. Don't you agree? We weave in the ends, give it a bath, block it, and finally get to wear or use something we've made with our own hands. I love that feeling.

And I'm certainly not suggesting we abandon every project the moment it becomes difficult.

Some of my favorite making experiences have involved working through something challenging, learning a new technique, or figuring out a construction that initially seemed impossible. But there's an important difference between a project that challenges us and one that has become an obligation.

One asks us to grow. The other sometimes asks us to ignore what we actually want. And mindful making invites us to recognize that difference.

Think about a project you've been avoiding:

• Are you avoiding it because you're learning something difficult?

• Because you need a little more uninterrupted time?

• Because the pattern requires more concentration than you have available?

• Or because, somewhere along the way, you've simply lost interest?

Those are very different reasons. And they deserve different responses.

BUT I'VE ALREADY SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON IT!

This is where things get complicated.

We've bought the yarn. We've purchased the pattern. We've spent hours knitting or crocheting. Maybe we've even told people about the project or shared our progress on social media. So surely we have to finish it, right??

Not necessarily. The time and money we've already invested are real. But continuing to work on something we no longer want doesn't give that time or money back. It simply asks us to invest more. And sometimes that's a choice we're happy to make and at other times, it isn't.

I think we forget that an unfinished project can still have value. Maybe we learned a new technique or we discovered something about fit or construction. Maybe we realized we don't particularly enjoy working with a certain fiber. Or the colors that excited us two years ago no longer feel like us. Or maybe we simply enjoyed making it for a while.

A project doesn't have to become a finished object to have been a worthwhile experience.

That's something I'd love for us to remember. I have to remind myself to do that too!

YOUR STASH IS NOT AN OBLIGATION

And while we're talking about guilt, we can't forget about the stash.

Oh, the beautiful possibilities tucked away in our yarn collections! The special skeins.

The sweater quantities. The yarn we bought on vacation. The yarn we fell in love with at a fiber festival. The yarn we were absolutely certain we'd use for a particular project. And sometimes, somewhere along the way, those possibilities begin to feel like responsibilities.

I really should use that yarn.

I shouldn't buy anything else until I've used what I have.

I've had that skein for years. I need to find something to make with it.

But what if we looked at our stash differently?

Your stash isn't an obligation. It's a collection of possibilities.

Some of those possibilities still excite you. Others may not. Maybe the yarn you bought for a sweater would make a beautiful shawl instead or that special skein is waiting for a completely different idea. Maybe you're ready to pass something along to another maker who will enjoy it. And maybe you simply want to keep a beautiful skein because looking at it makes you happy.

There doesn't always have to be a project attached to everything we own.

Note: feeling a little overwhelmed with your stash? Or wanting to re-evaluate what you have? I wrote a blog post a couple years ago just for this...check It out!

LET'S ASK A DIFFERENT QUESTION

This week, I'd like you to replace one familiar question with another.

Instead of asking: Should I finish this?

Try asking: Do I still want to make this?

Notice the difference? The first question begins with an expectation. The second begins with curiosity. And there are several perfectly reasonable answers.

Yes, I still want to make this.

Wonderful. Maybe it's time to give the project a little attention again.

Yes, but not right now.

Perhaps it's a project for a different season. One when you have more time, energy, or interest.

I want the finished piece, but I'm not enjoying the process.

That's worth exploring. Could you change the pattern, simplify something, or approach the project differently?

No, I don't want to make this anymore.

That's an answer, too. You might decide to unravel it and use the yarn for something else.

You might pass the project along. Or you might simply decide you're finished with it.

None of these decisions makes you a better or worse maker. What matters is understanding why you're choosing to continue or not.

OUR MINDFUL MAKING PRACTICE THIS WEEK

I have a simple invitation for you this week.

Choose one WIP you've been avoiding. Just one.

Take it out of its bag. Hold it. Look at it. Remember what drew you to it in the first place.

Then ask yourself:

• Why did I originally choose this project?

• What excited me about it?

• How do I feel when I pick it up today?

• Do I still enjoy the process?

• Do I want the finished object?

• Is this project challenging me, or am I simply no longer interested?

• What has this project already taught me?

And finally: Do I still want to make this?

You don't have to make a decision immediately. And you don't have to frog anything.

You don't have to organize your entire stash or suddenly finish every WIP in your house.

For now, just be willing to listen to your answer.

PERMISSION TO CHANGE YOUR MIND

When I chose Comfort • Quiet • Familiar as my three words, I wasn't making a declaration about the kind of knitter I would be forever. I was simply acknowledging what I need from my making right now.

And perhaps that's what this week's practice is really about. Giving ourselves permission to change. To want something different. Permission to set something aside or return to It later.

To recognize that the project we loved starting might not be the project we want to finish.

And to understand that none of those choices erases the joy, learning, or creativity we've already experienced.

It's important to remember: Finishing isn't the only measure of a successful make.

Sometimes the success is in what we discovered along the way. Sometimes it's in recognizing what no longer fits. And sometimes it's in having the confidence to choose something different.

Next week, we're going to turn our attention toward what we do want to make. We'll take everything we've noticed about our creative lives and begin exploring how to choose projects with greater intention.

But first, I want to leave you with one thought: You don't have to keep making something simply because you once wanted to make it.

We need to be kind to ourselves and remember, your interests can change. Your needs can change. And your making can change right along with you. There's something wonderfully freeing about that.

Cheers & Stitches,

Crystal